In capoeira, we have a thing called the roda or the wheel. It's basically everyone gathered in a circle. At the center of which are the players of the game. I've always been nervous when it's time to gather for the roda. I've been behind many lessons in class so it was hard for me to feel confident about playing. Everyone is soooo good and I actually still feel bad that I seem to be behind.
And then there's jamming while playing with your favorite props. In the usual spin jams I've been too, people would play with their props of choice at the same time. Sometimes we follow our own feelings and find individual flow. Sometimes there's a collective vibe and just feel the flow as a group. My unforgettable experience at Brasilipinas was with Ehrlich and Athena while we were in the middle of a circle of people. I don't know what really made it different but I just know that there was a collective and infectious energy that night and though I wasn't able to do a lot of fancy tricks it was one of the best moments I had while hooping.
After that I just know that we shared the same space and the same mood. This made me think that I really like playing or spinning with other people too. And it's like capoeira. You share the same space and the same music. You might move differently from each other but you both have to interact with each other's movements and mood.
Lately I've been getting more comfortable with my capoeira friends even outside our training setting. I guess it makes it easier for me to trust them when we play together. That they will respond to my movements without being show offs or even when they do, they will also guide me and give me that opportunity to learn. Some people just have that effect? But eventually I guess I'll find it easier over time :). For some reason I actually find myself wanting to play more capoeira and I don't know if it's me starting to find some kind of flow as I keep on trying and just not stopping despite a lot of moments where I'm almost hit because I was approaching a kick instead of escaping it.
It's really a matter of time for me to get used to this kind of interaction. But I suppose that me wanting to learn would eventually triumph over the fear of getting hit or hitting someone whether with my limbs or a prop. And I guess it's time to just have more fun.